Anything More than the Truth
by Katty3
Summary: The truth is Eiji cares for Oishi...more than the truth is just how much. Golden Pair angst.


Notes:  My first PoT story.  Go me!  Please read and review.

Anything More than the Truth

   by  Katty

The late Saturday evening found Seigaku's acrobatic tennis specialist sitting on a wooden park bench, shoulders slightly slumped.  Eiji had forgotten how night was so…dark.  With the lights only illuminating small circles of the ground, the park seemed smaller, more constrained, darkness closing in from all sides.  Eiji folded his arms across his chest and rubbed his shoulders a bit to ward off the chill.  He felt that night had not fallen on the empty park, so much as took a spinning swan dive right into his lap with a suddenness that made him overly conscious of his bare arms.

His foot moved back and forth as he ground his heel into the gravel from the jogging path that over time had been kicked up onto the cement plaza around the central fountain.  He swirled the toe of his shoe one way, then the other, then he looked over his shoulder at that foot path, sharp eyes tracing the dim meandering curves through the grass.

His eyes caught for an instant on a couple, college students Eiji figured, stumbling towards him and giggling all the while clinging so close it was like they were trying to get inside of each other.  Eiji could almost see the fuzzy alcohol cloud that followed them like an abandoned puppy.  He looked away with the intense concentration of a person bent on convincing himself he couldn't see the strangers walking ever closer.  It was the only polite thing to do.  Once they were past, however, and could no longer see him, his shoelaces instantly ceased to be of any interest and his bright eyes fixed intently on this newest distraction from his atypical mood.

The woman stumbled on a bit of pavement in black shoes that Eiji, in all his coordination and grace, couldn't wrap his mind around walking in _sober_.  She fell heavily against the strong chest of her lover, who reached out to steady her.  A roving hand skimmed with a faint touch up the back of her thigh, pushing up her already short skirt even further.

Eiji was tempted to click his tongue at the pair's behavior, but didn't blush or look away or even bat an eye for that matter.  His artificial disapproval sprouted more from a vague feeling that _somebody_ should disapprove, than any personal moral objections.  Though his eyes grew wide when that faint touch grew more heartfelt and caressing became a bit more like squeezing.  Apparently either somebody else was putting blinders on, or was just too drunk to notice or mind the company.  

A moment passed between the lovers, foreheads together, eyes locked.  Then in the same instant, both began to laugh out loud, like they simultaneously understood the punch line to a joke no one had spoken—at least no one Eiji could hear.  They didn't need to talk about what they were thinking, they just knew.

With an odd expression, well and truly blank in a way that Eiji's face had never been, he watched the loving couple walk out of sight.  In a tiny fit of temper, the only kind he could allow himself at this point, he kicked his foot and let the dirt fly and click faintly when some of the larger stones landed of the cement.  He cranked his neck around and once again concentrated on his path.

He came here to run on days off and during breaks often enough that it had become—to him anyway—_his_ path. Though some might think of a dirt path as being…well, dirty; Eiji knew that gravel was easier on ankle and knee joints than pounding the pavement.  Gravel was firm and would provide the solid surface needed for running, while being forgiving and accommodating.  At least while things were going well, but one misstep and suddenly you were in a world of hurt, knees scraped and heart bleeding.

This was the fourth time he'd caught himself checking up on it—the path he reminded himself—like he wasn't sure he could believe it was actually there.  He couldn't keep his eyes from it for more then a few moments.  Why?  He wasn't sure, maybe just to make sure that his path was still there, that it hadn't run out on him.

Eiji consciously loosened his grip on the front board of the park bench and let out a great sigh.  He flopped over forward, bending easily in half and trailed his fingertips on the dirty cement plaza.  Quick eyes spotted a little chunk of loose cement by a bench leg and his fingers reached out to grab it of their own volition as he suddenly sat upright.  

It was rough, even to his callused fingers, and much lighter than he expected.  He tossed it up and down a few times, as if testing how well it could fly; then, in an abnormally quick move, threw it at the fountain.  It clicked off the central pillar of the concrete fountain and appeared to freeze in the air as it rebounded, holding position for what seemed a short eternity to Eiji's quick eyes before gravity took control of the situation.   It landed in the water with a satisfying plop.

He smiled a wry little grin, and stood, quickly gathering three more projectiles.   He took aim and let the first fly.  It bounced further off the pillar this time.  He reached for the next one and was winding up when a voice stopped him cold.

"You probably shouldn't be throwing rocks into the fountain."

Eiji paused for a long moment, arm raised, fingers clutching white knuckled at the piece of pavement.  He ground his teeth together and whipped the artificial rock at the fountain, but his throw went wide and the bit of concrete went skidding through the grass.

From somewhere behind him, he could hear Oishi's frown.

Eiji didn't turn around.

Oishi's frown deepened, but he took a step forward, "Eiji, I think we need to be getting back, before…" but Eiji bolted, motivated blindly by an overwhelming urge for flight.  Oishi either had quick enough reflexes or simply knew when his doubles partner intended to run, and was able to grab Eiji's wrist, stopping his forward movement.

In that moment, Eiji's head hung forward, his arms went limp, then his knees threatened to buckle beneath him.  It had only taken one firm grip; everything flew away and Eiji was left empty.  

The remaining cement piece fell from his slack grip and rolled a little on the dirty pavement.  The insignificant noise seemed unbearable in the eerie and uncomfortable silence that had fallen between them.  

Oishi closed his eyes and turned his head from Eiji; a deep wrinkle formed between his brows and his teeth were clenched tightly together.  Everything seemed out of place on his face.  Oishi was unused to expressing anger, and that made him all the more aware of how twisted his features were, how tight his skin felt, how terrified this feeling made him.

"Why did you try to run from me?"  Oishi looked up, and he stared at the back of that brilliantly red head with an intensity that would have surprised those who didn't know him.  His eyes demanded an answer.

But Eiji didn't speak for a long moment, a minute that dragged on till long past the point where either one could have comfortably said anything, both became aware by slow degrees of the faint trickling of the fountain.

Then a murmur from Eiji, so soft that Oishi had to consider it again before he understood; but when he did…  His hand fell from Eiji's wrist, grip and jaw both gone slack.

"…you ran from me first…"

It took some time before Oishi could form any sort of response.  His tongue was too thick and bulky in his mouth, and even once he was able to speak again he found he hadn't the foggiest idea what to say.

"Eiji, I…I mean I…I'm so sorry…  We can't…I…ah, didn't…you know…I'm sorry…"  His words came out a halted, jumbled mess, desperation hanging heavily between every word.

"No," Eiji cut him off, "you don't have to be sorry.  It's my fault."  Oishi's eyes widened at the flat tone of his doubles partner.

"I shouldn't have…"  The desperate cry trailed off gently, found it had nowhere to go and slowly became lost in the darkness, until neither boy was entirely sure who said it, or if it even had been said at all.  But when Eiji finally turned to face his partner, Oishi was crying, green eyes bright and wet, obvious even in the dim park lights.

Eiji was forced to look away, as his own throat grew painfully tight.  "Don't do that Oishi."  His voice sounded weak and tired, even to his own ears, "I'm the one who should be crying."

"It's just…" Eiji studied the ground for a moment, building his confidence.  He knew that he somehow had to get through this, had to explain himself if they were going to ever be the Golden Pair again.

"It just felt so right and you were so close to me, and…I wanted it so badly."  Eiji felt himself blush despite himself and wondered for a moment if Oishi was blushing as well.  He gave a deep sigh as if just saying that much had already alleviated most of his pain and looked over at the fountain.

"I know you're not…that…that you're not like me, Oishi.  I don't blame you for running, I probably would have ran, too."  He looked down at his shoes, then softly, as though to himself, "It was my first kiss."

"Mine, too."

Eiji's head shot up too quickly, like he'd somehow managed to forget there was another person he was supposed to be talking to and looked at his partner.  Oishi was smiling at him.

Eiji smiled too, but it was a sad smile and his eyes shone too brightly.

They just looked at each other for a long time, both content to simply take in the other's presence and too afraid to look away.

With a somber feeling laced by all different types of regret, Oishi reached his hand towards Eiji.  "Take this, you must be cold."  Eiji looked down and saw his jacket hanging from Oishi's fingers.  He took it slowly from his partner, afraid it would be yanked back if he moved too quickly.  Once he'd handed over the jacket Oishi continued, "I think we need to head back to my place and talk some more…" but Eiji shook his head.

"I think I just want to go home."

Oishi paused for a long moment, holding his partner's gaze.  Scrambling for a word but finding none the only thing to come from his mouth was a vague, "ah."

"Well," said Eiji, quickly throwing on his jacket, "see you at practice tomorrow."  He turned and started to jog away, but before he'd gotten too far he turned back to give Oishi a smile and an energetic wave. "Bai-bai!"

But his eyes were still wet.


End file.
